1 whole year has passed by
without me taking a break to check into myself. One. Full. Year.
It’s not like I haven’t had
opportunities to do so, it doesn’t mean I haven’t reflected at all. I have had
few short conversations about things I care about with people who matter to me.
But the question I ask myself today as I type this out is, “Has that been
enough?” The answer is no. A big NO in fact. 2019 has marked a monumental
change in my life.
It’s the year I moved back to
India, started my career in the social sector, got engaged to the love of my
life, set my wedding date, realized what it means to leave a piece of my heart
in a different continent, shifted my perspectives on a ton of issues, got my
first climate change panic attack, realized my parents are getting old, saw
myself fit and stand out in a career I was proud to have, understood what it
meant to do a balancing act with the parents and in-laws, freaked out about
getting married, saw my first North Indian wedding, had my first north Indian
trip, discovered my love for all things art, cotton clothes and many many other
small & big experiences both.
But as I sat down to write this,
the blank screen intimidated me. I felt absolute loss for words and all the
experiences that had to somehow magically transform themselves into beautiful
words seemed to shy into their shells, disapproving the lack of colour that the
whiteness of the screen exhibited; the colour that my eyes somehow seemed to
get adjusted to. After a lot of deliberation and debate with myself, I gathered
these questions I could ask to push myself to think about the past year
constructively.
1) What
has become the 3 most important things to me in the past year? (My priorities)
2) What
are the 3 main perspectives I’ve developed in the past year?
3) What
are the 2-3 things have I changed my mind about in the past year and why?
4) Have
I become more empathetic & compassionate compared to the last year? If yes,
which incident triggered it? If not, would I like to work towards it, this
year?
5) Have
I become more courageous than I was, last year? If yes, what led to it? If no,
is that something I’d like to work towards?
6) Have
I identified what my strengths are, the past year?
7) Do
I know what my weaknesses look like the past year?
8) What
are my most effective go-to self-care tips?
9) What
are the successful mantras I’ve identified this year to sustain my relationships
with all my loved ones this year?
10) What
is it (are things) about my job that makes me want to go to work everyday?
11) What
is it (are things) about my job that I wish to change?
12) If
I could describe my ideal job description, what would that be. (Create a
checklist & check your current job against it)
13) Has
my goal about where I want to be in 3 years changed over the past year? If yes,
how & why. If no, is it because I haven’t thought about it or is It because
I’m too sure of it?
14) Have
I read enough over the past year? What are some of the reformative / formative
areas I’d like to read more about?
15) What
aspects of physical care have changed in the past one year?
These 15 questions are intentionally vague, allowing
me to paint a broad stroke of every thought that occurs to me when I read the
question – isn’t that the point of reflection anyway?
I write this piece on Day 7 of self-isolation amidst
the corona outbreak in India. The situation is obviously grim and I have too
much time on my hands now anyway. I hope to use this template of
self-reflection every now & then to keep in touch with myself and
everything important to me.
The hope is, as a person spending a lot of time
with myself indoors for the next couple of weeks to come, I end up writing more
than I did the past one year by using these questions as my prompts. I don’t
have to start on a blank screen staring at me anymore, I have these 15
questions nudging me to indulge in my thoughts, nurture them and hopefully
grow. If we all don’t bring our best versions out at a time of crisis like
this, then as a human race in totality, what have we been preparing for,
anyway?
